Q. I have a problem making friends because I'm very shy. I can't open up to others. Sometimes I don't think God wants me to make friends because they might influence me in a bad way. But down deep inside, I know that's not true. Everybody needs friends, right? I really need tips on how I can make friends without barfing all over them because I'm so shy.
A. You are not alone. My wife, Cathy, is also an introvert. But she's been able to build very deep friendships--without barfing on anyone. Whatever your personality, friendships are possible and very much needed. God places a high priority on friendships. He is not keeping you from relationships. And, I know God will give you the strength to step out of your comfort zone and benefit from the results.
How do you make friends? First, try not to overthink it. Say hello to someone, sit next to a person you don't know at lunch, talk about what you like with someone. Now, those things can seem daunting to a shy person. However, have you ever heard that saying about how some wild animals are as scared of us as we are of them? Well, that goes for other people, too. We often worry too much about what someone thinks of us. But you know what? They are usually just as worried about what you think of them.
Second, don't feel like you need to open up immediately. A person doesn't have to go from stranger to lifelong friend in three days. Time spent with each other brings more and more trust.
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SOURCE: Ignite Your Faith
Jim is an author, longtime youth worker and founder of HomeWord, a group
seeking to honor God through strong families.
